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When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.A guy walks into a bar in Tennessee and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says, "You ain't from 'round here are ya?" No," replies the man, "I'm from Pennsylvania."The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Pennsylvania?" I'm a taxidermist," says the man.The bartender, looking very bewildered, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-dermist?"The man says, "I mount animals."The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"Adult Fairy TalesCINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm." Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?" "You must be home by 2:00 am. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.". As if to confirm things for me Mike said, "Do you think Lance knows?" No. He goes off and plays poker and shoots pool and leaves Vivian to walk around and socialize, and drink of course, thank God for that."For me that was the most telling part - I did play poker that night and Viv always got a snootfull."One of these days Lance is going to wake up to the fact that all anybody needs to do to fuck Vivian is to get enough booze into her." Pray that it doesn't happen anytime soon. I kind of like having available pussy on the weekends." Yeah, it's too bad we can't find a way to have more parties during the week." You don't need a party during the week. All you need if for Lance to go on one of his business trips." What do you mean?" The last time he went on a trip I stopped by his house and told Vivian I wanted to ask her advise on a problem I was having with my girlfriend. Then I acted nervous and said that maybe my being there with Lance gone might give the neighbors the wrong ides and.
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